Friday, May 9, 2008

The Lover and the Beloved

I was talking the other night to an expat who has been in country for many years. He said that his wife used to be here with him, but decided she would rather live in their home country without him than be here with him. They are still married, and he misses her and longs for his vacations when they can be together. He then commented, “In every relationship, there is the lover and there is the person loved. It doesn’t go both ways.”

Someone else then joined the conversation. He had been here for a short time several years ago. Every time he talked to his wife during that time, he had the distinct realization that she was not eager for him to come home. She requested a divorce after he did return, and he was now engaged to be married to someone else. His present fiancée is calling him every day, telling him how much she misses him and can’t wait for him to come home. The veteran said, “You see, that proves my point. In the first marriage, you were the lover and she was the beloved. In this relationship, she is the lover and you are the beloved.”

I’d never thought of this concept before, but it caught my attention. Anyone out there have any ideas about it?

1 comment:

Rumblings said...

Your example of the beloved is really not about love. It's about someone in a relationship deliberately hurting another. It's about being unfaithful and cruel. That has nothing to do with being a lover or beloved. IN a healthy honest relationship both parties are both.